if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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