Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want her autograph on my taint
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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