I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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