ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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