We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
