Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
