im having a threesome with these popsicles
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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