It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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