I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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