I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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