It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
