he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
