then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Randomize
