No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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