i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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