I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
