i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
