Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
