Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
