God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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