WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
