Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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