the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
