before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
