If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
