My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
