Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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