The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
