yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
