I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
