I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
