Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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