well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i think i have two assholes
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
