i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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