Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
