New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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