hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
