I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
