My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You took a bar mat shot.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
