doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
