Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
