I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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