i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
