If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
