I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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