At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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