How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
