We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
