After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
