This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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